By Susan Fishman

It’s hard to resist that sexy – almost cocky – confidence, the shameless flirting, the reckless – perhaps even dangerous – behavior. The "bad boy."

Why is he so damn attractive? And why do so many women get snarled in the pattern of bad boy after bad boy after bad boy? Psychologists would have a field day with that one, but in the interest of space, let’s focus on the alternative. The nice guy. Why is he so unattractive to so many of us? Perhaps he’s not enough of a challenge. Or maybe his polite, tentative demeanor just doesn’t twirl your skirt up. Or maybe it’s exciting to have someone play with your feelings like a cat on a bungee cord.

But how deep have you really delved into this other class of the male species? If you immediately rule out the guy who actually calls you back when he says he’s going to, you’re doing yourself a great disservice. Many times, those types of guys have a cool, confident vibe bubbling underneath the surface, they just need to get past that initial awkward stage of dating to let it out. Even better, you might come to find the warm, passionate sincerity of a nice guy sexy in and of itself.

Take my friend, Bo, who was never particularly popular with the ladies in high school or even college. After college, Bo joined a band and, suddenly, girls were asking about the hot bass player. Still a nice guy, mind you, and never indulging in the attitude that comes with being a "rock star." Bo was suddenly quite a catch. He and his band mates (ALL very nice guys) who had always competed with the "bad boys" for dates finally had the last laugh. "Look who the chicks want now, dude!" And how lucky is his wife? She’s married to a thoughtful, sensitive man who’s a sexy, successful musician AND a great cook! It doesn’t get much better than that.

Moral of the story? Taking the step toward nice doesn’t mean you have to compromise. If you think dating a nice guy means dating a nerd, then chances are that’s what you’ll find in any man who shows you the slightest hint of decency. But if you change your way of thinking and believe that you can find a man who’s not only kind, but cool and gorgeous to boot, then chances are you’ll give that kind of man the benefit of the doubt when you meet him. Remember, nice may seem boring at the start, but the real, lasting attraction usually comes from something deeper anyway. And wouldn’t you rather have a lifetime of nice than a history of bad?

I guess the main purpose is to encourage nice guys to stay the same...